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Dec 29, 2009, 12:10am

Forward Observer: Peering from a fox-hole :: General :: SEX: Southern Expressions :: Common SEX- Southern Expressions

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Topic: Common SEX- Southern Expressions (Read 379 times)

Daniel P. Taverne
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I'm just a redneck living in Louisiana; When I have a thought I write it down

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Common SEX- Southern Expressions
« Thread Started on May 24, 2005, 9:17pm »

"Dag-gum it, I forgot about my beans on the stove and they scorched.

Hey "Boo"! Yea "Bee"? I was called both terms of endearment down in southern louisiana back in the late '80's.

I was helping a man work on an air conditioner one day and he couldn't seem to manouver his hands inside the unit, he said, "This is like trying to screw a cat with a piece of pine straw!" Only he used another color methaphor in the place of 'screw'.

Slicker than owl nuts to describe a muddy walk way, or the traction you don't have on the kitchen floor agter a 'knock-down-drag-out' with a sibling and there's blood everywhere.

"Drunk as a skunk"

This rain storm 'is a real turd floater'!
I was so mad at him I wanted to 'snatch a knot in his neck'!

This supper might not taste good, but 'it'll make a turd'.

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Daniel P. Taverne
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member is offline

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I'm just a redneck living in Louisiana; When I have a thought I write it down

Joined: Mar 2005
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Posts: 43
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Re: Sex: Southern Expressions
« Reply #1 on Jun 3, 2005, 10:26pm »

I was thinking, there are all kinds of southern folk: Those with class, then there is the rest of us. For those of us living in trailor parks, a southern expression might be, "Evelyn Olean, Did you see that?! Why that was a UFO!" Another thing I've heard is,"Patricia, put that chicken back where you got it!"

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Daniel Taverne
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Re: Common SEX- Southern Expressions
« Reply #2 on Jun 16, 2005, 9:51am »

In the south they don't say, "Turn out the lights", instead they say, "Cut out the lights"

In my wilder days, my friends and I had a grading system to describe the relative looks of women. Depending on how many consumed beers were required to make an woman look good enough to 'have relations' with determined the lable we used. For example, Bob might say, "Ew! Would you look at that homely thing, she's a twelve pack!"

A term I've heard in the south, but have never seen, is a "hoe-down". What in the world is a hoe-down?

Until I moved to the south, I never ate okra... so the first time I tried it 'snot' was the first thing that came to mind; I thought, "I'm eating snot!" And I blew chunks all over the place. The first time someone put a craw-fish in front of me, I thought, "What the hell is this? It looks a little crunchy!" Then they told me to suck the head, and I blew chunks again.

I never had banana pudding until I came to the south...now, that's something I learned to love really quick.

No where else in this great nation do families say they love each other quite like they do in the south. In the south, A father and a son can be putting knots on each others heads (at a bar) one day, then be fishing the next. Brothers can be shooting bottle rockets at each other, chase each other with axes and baseball bats, and even stab each other in the feet while playing 'chicken' but don't let someone other than family mess with a member of yours.... cause then alll hell's gonna break loose.

Women in the south are though, and (for the most part) they "don't take no 'nuts' offa no man!

My mother-in-law knocked her husband on his rear end more than once, and threatened to 'whoop' his ass many more times.

"opening a can of whoop ass" is another SEX (southern expression).

The south is the only place you can get a case of red ass. Southern doctors are at a loss, and cant figure out what causes it, or even why the condition is named "red ass" since people with this affliction rarely actually have a red ass! So, right now, in the south you can get a case of red a ss and a can of whoop ass.

One of these days somebody is going to wise up and package these items together for easy loading on to the bed of the pick up. They are going to put the cans of whoop ass, and cases of red ass into a crate and sell them at bulk prices. A can of whoop ass is one of the few things a person will open for you, then be sorry he did. rarely do you open your own can, it's always sombody elses... why is that. And why do people only open the cans of whoop ass, but they don't ever open their case of red ass?

Yea, the south is a strange place.

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D Taverne
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Re: Common SEX- Southern Expressions
« Reply #3 on Sept 6, 2005, 2:55pm »

I heard another one. I've been hearing allot lately about people showing their asses. What's with that . When someone gets angry and throws a fit, he is showing his ass. When a child is misbehaving , he/she is showing his ass. How did it come about that these behaviors are connotated by showing ones ass?

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D aniel Taverne
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I heard another one
« Reply #4 on Oct 22, 2005, 6:45pm »

Okay, this one is for people who... say... just woke up. You say to them, "Why you 're looking brighter than a wishing-well nickel.

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Daniel Taverne
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Re: Common SEX- Southern Expressions
« Reply #5 on Dec 4, 2005, 2:42pm »

In the south, when referring to a drivers liscence, a person might say, "Have you seen my drivers liscence? I haven't seen 'them' since yesterday." See, this always throws me off kilter. My wife refers to her liscence as one might refer to a pair of pants, (in the plurel form). Really it's only one pant, but people say pair... don't make sense to me

In the south, pants are often refered to as britches, this word is still used in the north as well. A dresser in the south is called, "a chest of drawers". The first time I heard this I thought the old lady was saying Sir Chester Drawers!

It was only in the south that I learned about cow tipping. This past time probably occurs in the north as well, but I never heard of it up there. What people do is get drunk, then go out to a cow pasture where cows are sleeping standing up and they proceed to knock them over. Doesn't this sound like fun?

In the south, when explaining how you might 'whip' your kid, you'd say, "I'm going to take him behind the 'wood shed'. ...

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